My Shepherds

My Shepherds ~ by Cathy Cox 

I stood before my shepherds
gushing blood
though I tried so hard to hide
to deny
the shame
the fear
and the wounds
from the attack
by the wolf among their ranks ...
Not one of my shepherds saw
my wounds
or the pools of blood.

My shepherds … why
are they devoid
of indignation
that a wolf among their ranks
stole, killed, destroyed ....
Am I really one of God's?
A wolf …
How could he do this?
Why did he do this?
Who is next?
Who else is bleeding?
Has anyone not survived?

My shepherds … why
are they devoid
of urgency
for others like me
and for me …
The wolf …
The wolf might still be hungry
for sheep
and he's free to roam, to prey
to steal
to kill
to destroy.
God where are you?

My shepherds … 
as I stood before them
bloody wounds untended
instructed me
I must forgive
and not tell anyone else about
the wolf among their ranks …
then sent me on my way.

He lied …
He looked like one of them …
He even talked better than most of them …
Are they all like him?

My shepherds … Why??
They don't want me any more ...
one by one
refuse to see
refuse to know.

Where is God?
Was I really one of His?
The wolf …
The sheep …
My shepherds …
Don't any of them care??!!
Who are they?
Who am I?

Ah … 
I get it …
The wolf among their ranks …
is one of them.
I surely 
am not
one of them. 

Amos 3:3
Kathy Cox, 2003