Don't Talk to Me!

Don't Talk to Me! ~ by a survivor of the American Presbyterian Congo Mission

Don't talk to me

And say that it happened so long ago, so I should forget about it

And say that it only happened once or twice, so it shouldn't matter.

You are talking

To a child who forgot how to trust adults
To a teenager who looked at herself in the mirror and never saw beauty and self-worth
To a wife who sometimes cries and does not understand why, because her adored husband is handsome and sweet and gentle
To a mother who did not breast-feed her precious babies because she couldn't tolerate the touch

Don't talk to me

About forgiveness

About the love of Jesus

About turning it over to God

And don't quote scripture to me.

You are talking

To a child who had her innocence robbed from her by a man who preached the love of Jesus
To a child who had scripture quoted to her daily, while her parents sent her away to boarding school so they could do God's work.
To a teenager who had to learn to love and forgive, who thought the sin was somehow hers
To a woman who has turned the hurt over to God time after time, only to have it haunt her unexpectedly and send her reeling.

Don't talk to me

unless you have been there, waiting in the dark

unless you have had the unwanted touches

unless you have shed the tears and felt the shame

unless you have felt betrayed and abandoned by those who said they cared.

Because you don't know what in the hell you are talking to me about.

By Becky Scott
(Becky Washburn Scott is a survivor of childhood missionary/clergy sexual abuse on the American Presbyterian Congo Mission field.)